Pathological Demand Avoidance (PDA) in Autistic Children

Parenting a child on the autism spectrum comes with its unique challenges, and among them is the lesser-known condition called Pathological Demand Avoidance (PDA). PDA is widely understood to be a profile on the autistic spectrum, characterised by an avoidance of everyday demands and the use of ‘social’ strategies to as a means for avoidance.

Key Characteristics of PDA:

1. Avoidance/Resistance to Demands:

   • Children with PDA often exhibit extreme resistance to everyday tasks and requests, leading to meltdowns or other challenging behaviors.

2. Need for Control:

   • Individuals with PDA have strong need to be in control of situations, often going to great lengths to avoid perceived threats to their autonomy.

   • This is often due to underlying anxiety or an automatic ‘threat response’

3. Social Masking:

   • PDA individuals may engage in social mimicry or "masking," imitating neurotypical behaviors to navigate social situations, making it challenging to identify their struggles.

4. Anxiety and Emotional Regulation:

   • Sudden changes or unexpected demands may lead to heightened stress levels that trigger anxiety or heightened emotional responses

It can be very challenging for parents to support a child with PDA, as conventional parenting/teaching strategies are ineffective. It is important to remember that demand avoidance in PDA as “can’t” but not “won’t”. PDAers describe their demand avoidance as an internal struggle between brain, heart and body.

Support Strategies for Parents:

1. Flexibility and Negotiation:

   • Be open to negotiation and find ways to present tasks or requests in a more flexible manner. Offering choices and involving the child in decision-making give the child a sense of autonomy.

2. Build Trust:

   • Focus on building a trusting relationship first before attempting a learning activity or something that may be perceived as a demand

3. Collaborate:

   • Keep the end goal in mind rather than focussing on the ‘how’ of getting there

   • Work with the child to negotiate a way to complete the task that feels safe and comfortable for them

4. Make It Meaningful:

   • The child needs to see a purpose for learning or the activity —they tend to engage more when they see that the task at hand may be relevant or useful to their lives

5. Recognise Signs of Overwhelm:

   • Try to identify early signs of overwhelm and divert them before they peak

   • Create plans for when things may not go according to plan

Understanding and supporting a child with Pathological Demand Avoidance can be challenging, but with patience, empathy, and the right strategies, parents can make a significant difference in their child's life. By fostering a supportive and understanding environment, parents can help their child navigate the complexities of PDA and thrive on their unique journey within the autism spectrum.